Marriage is supposed to be a journey of a lifetime which brings two individuals together till death does them apart. Often it so happens, that the marriage doesn’t work as planned and when the differences and issues between couples reach a peak, it results in divorce.
A coupe may seek divorce for many reasons like misunderstandings, continuous arguments, incompatibility, difference of opinion and lifestyle, extra marital affairs and so on. A divorce can spoil many people’s lives including the couple, their children and relatives. A couple should try to resolve their differences and issues with the help of a marriage counselor who can find a common ground between the two and help them adjust with each other in order to start their relation from a new note. With a little bit of adjustment, compromise and empathy for your better half, a couple can surely avoid a divorce and settle down back in life along with their children and other family members.
However, if a couple finds no solutions to their problems, are confused whether to go for a divorce or not, wants to know the consequences of divorce, it is strongly advisable that they should seek the help of a divorce counselor who can help them go through the entire process smoothly, giving his expert opinion on the whole matter. By following certain tips on divorce counseling which helps a couple undergo the whole process easily, a couple can work out the divorce without any stress, tension or complications.
Types of Divorce Counseling
The first type of divorce counseling takes into account a couple who is sure of wanting a divorce from each other and is going to stick to that decision till the very end. Here the couple keeps all the required facts like change in name, account and property ready to be discussed in details with the counselor. The second type involves a couple who is sure of divorce but is in doubt regarding the alterations required in their finances. They may seek a lawyer’s help who can clear their doubts. They may also be worried about their children’s safety and seek the advice of an experienced family counselor for the same.
In the third type, the couple has no financial issues or children to take care of. They straight away contact a counselor for the divorce to take place. Such couples have no emotions or sentiments involved and generally make a mutual agreement which states the procedure of the divorce and the paperwork just remains to be done. The fourth type involves those couples who wish to discuss with their counselor what kind of emotional, psychological or financial effects their divorce could have on them both and after getting sufficient information, work out the divorce accordingly.
Why do Couples need Divorce Counseling?
A divorce can turn out to be a traumatic and stressful affair, which involves various types of emotions and mood swings at the same time. Divorce Counseling helps you to understand the key issues you are facing, what you truly feel about your partner and accept the changes in your life in the years to come.
Women are known to be more emotional and sentimental than men and wish to seek sympathy from everyone. They consider themselves to be absolutely correct, not admitting their faults and mistakes easily. A divorce counselor explains the whole problem from a third person’s point of view as he is unbiased and neutral to both the partners, correctly pointing out who is more at fault and who isn’t.
Men do not wish to go for counseling as this portrays them to be weak which they aren’t. They fail to understand that a divorce counselor can help you clearly understand what the problems are, what its solution may be and what outcome the divorce may have for both. Also, a divorce counselor helps the couple to express their thoughts and emotions in front of each other, trying to make them understand the other’s point of view.
How Divorce Counseling helps children
A divorce counselor highlights the effects that a divorce may have on the couple’s children who are the most affected if the divorce actually takes place. Keeping in mind the child’s future, a divorce counselor may advice the couple to reconsider their divorce and try to compromise with each other for the sake of their children.
Even after this, if the couple stands firm on their decision of divorce, a divorce counselor proves to be of great help in making the children understand and face the fact that their parents are going to separate, in a very calm, less tensed and empathetic manner which comforts the child and makes him accept the hard facts of life. Parents may not be able to communicate with their children well at this point of time, as they themselves are under stress and tension and are going through emotional turmoil in their lives.
Benefits of Divorce Counseling
A divorce counselor, with all his experience and expertise in this field, helps both the partners to go through this difficult phase of life in a smooth and tension-free manner as he lends them a shoulder to cry on or is there for them to speak out their true feelings to. He helps his client to cope through these tough times by suggesting some stress relieving exercises, tips to manage anger and keys to live a balanced and peaceful life.
Divorce can weaken any person’s confident to a great extent, thus it becomes very important to help them regain that self-respect and increase their confidence level through inspiring and realistic talks about life. The divorce counselor does just this. After a divorce or maybe during the ongoing process, a person may start feeling that he/she is unable to be consistent in relationships in their lives and becomes insecure and scared to form new relationships in the future.
A counselor reassures them of the fact that there is nothing wrong in ending a relationship which is no longer working and moving onto another. Being completely honest about your problems in front of a counselor will help you go through these testing times in an easier and less stressful manner, with the outcome being such which would be apt for the couple.